


kanaya's hysterectomy

by ebf4jay



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Dave Strider (Corpse), F/F, Hysterectomy, blame mistermole for that, mistreatment of reproductive organs, testicle cake pops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23207476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebf4jay/pseuds/ebf4jay
Summary: an inside joke taken too far.
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	kanaya's hysterectomy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mistermole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistermole/gifts).



> thanks to [mistermole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistermole/pseuds/mistermole) for helping with pretty much everything!!
> 
> all drawings are by me!

==> Rose: Ask your wife a question.

ROSE: Kanaya? 

KANAYA: Yes Dear 

ROSE: I'll make this brief.  
ROSE: Should I get a hysterectomy? 

KANAYA: Rose What Is A Hysterectomy I Dont Know What The Fuck That Is 

ROSE: I suppose that is an unlikely word to share between our respective cultures. I’m not certain the other seven of us would know what it means, actually.  
ROSE: To put it simply, a hysterectomy is when a human female has her uterus removed, thus inhibiting her reproductive cycle. 

KANAYA: Rose  
KANAYA: I Am Afraid I Am Not As Well Acquainted With Human Reproduction As You Are Troll Reproduction  
KANAYA: What The Fuck Is A Uterus 

ROSE: Oh, have I never explained this to you in detail?  
ROSE: It's like a...an empty, fleshy egg inside a human female's abdomen she's born with that prepares to carry a child every month.  
ROSE: Removing it means it's impossible to get pregnant, as there's nowhere for a child to develop.  
ROSE: Considering the Mother Grub handles reproduction, I don't believe there'd be a troll equivalent for it. 

KANAYA: So You Guys Just Have Little Flesh Pouches Inside You At All Times  
KANAYA: Baby Bags  
KANAYA: Child Containers  
KANAYA: Son Sacks  
KANAYA: Infant Incub— 

ROSE: Amusing alliterations and assonance aside, yes. We do.   
ROSE: In my opinion, the process of human pregnancy isn't as practical as laying eggs, but that's mammals for you.  
KANAYA: Ok  
KANAYA: But Why Do You Want A Hysterectomy  
KANAYA: To My Knowledge You Cannot Get Pregnant  
KANAYA: Trolls And Humans Cannot Reproduce With One Another

KANAYA: Is There Something I Should Know About

ROSE: Not everyone gets a hysterectomy to become infertile.  
ROSE: Say someone wants to reduce the risk for or remove uterine cancer, for example— 

KANAYA: Rose Do You Have Cancer 

ROSE: No.  
ROSE: I simply get excruciatingly painful periods and I'd like them to stop. 

KANAYA: Oh Ok  
KANAYA: If It Makes You Feel Better In The Long Run I Say Go For It  
KANAYA: Ill Support Anything That Makes You Comfortable 

ROSE: Aww, thanks.   
ROSE: <3   
KANAYA: <3 

KANAYA: So Uh  
KANAYA: What Happens After They Remove It  
KANAYA: Do We Get To Keep It 

ROSE: I guess?  
ROSE: Though I don't see a need to have my womb on display in the living room. 

KANAYA: Its Like A Souvenir   
ROSE: A souvenir from a hysterectomy? That's certainly one way to phrase it.  
ROSE: What would we do with it? Spend hours gazing longingly at the reproductive organ I no longer possess as it floats aimlessly in a jar of formaldehyde?

KANAYA: Precisely   
KANAYA: Perhaps I Could Have An In Depth Study Of It And Familiarize Myself With Your Inner Workings   
ROSE: I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the prospect of you performing an impromptu dissection on my disembodied uterus, love.   
KANAYA: Its Better I Examine It While Its Outside You Rather Than Inside You Dont You Agree 

ROSE: …  
ROSE: If you insist. 


End file.
